i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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