Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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