direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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