I wish life had little blips of pornography
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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