When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize