I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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