dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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