I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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