Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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