It's Friday. Sex?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
