stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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