so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
