Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
