dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is wine microwaveable?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
