to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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