Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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