Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
