She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize