my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
