i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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