Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
