holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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