I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Please don't give away my fajitas
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
