Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
