I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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