I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
