I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
