Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
