I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
