Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
