In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize