jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
