i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
