How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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