Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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