I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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