I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
how does that bad decision feel?
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