Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
