these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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