just tell him i said nine months
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
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What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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