Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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