She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
