The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
