I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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