Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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