seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
