I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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