woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
