he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
