now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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