We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're like the curious george of whores
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
