Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
