i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
