Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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