Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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