True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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