I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
