I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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