Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
