the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize